Her future sister-in-law cut ties with her

28-3-2013 | IslamWeb

Question:

Aoa mufti sahab.i had a small quarrel on phone with my brother's future wife few days back.we both say things to each other.after that for the next whole week i kept on calling her and messaging her saying sorry.she didnt reply to any of my message and she used to disconnect my call immediately.atlast i called her mother and said sorry.i cried a lot and said that please tell her to call me once and show that she is fine and not angry.her mother said that there ate 2 months remaining in her wedding.dont call till then.i dont want you two to talk.i cried just once auntie but all in vain..then one day she(the girl picked up)and very rudely said i am busy talk to my mother.till that day i stopped calling her on phone because she doesnt talk.is it qata rehmi on her part?and what else can i do???i am waiting till her marriage.even then if her behaviour will not change it will be very insulting and torturing for me.

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Indeed you did well by taking the initiative to apologize to that woman because of your mistreatment to her as the best of those who dispute is the one who starts saying Salaam to the other. Normally, she should have accepted your apology, as this is the character of the generous people who do not want to keep any rancor against others. Furthermore, she should not desert you more than three days for a worldly reason as this is Islamically forbidden as we have already clarified in Fataawa 84976 and 86772.

Hence, if she continues to desert you – while she has no Sharee'ah-based reason for doing so – then she is committing a sin. If she is a relative of yours, then she is cutting ties of kinship with you, but if she is not a relative, then she is not considered as one of your relatives by just being a wife to your brother.

However, there is no harm to continue trying to reconcile with her and if you do not succeed in doing so, then leave her and try to forget what happened and do not continue to think that her behaving in this manner constitutes insulting behaviour towards you.

Allaah Knows best.

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