I want to feel good most of the time and not rely on anyone. I do not have friends but would love to, and I do not have a boyfriend but would like to, and I do not have a sexy body but would like to, and I dream of taking my hijab off. None of my friends wear it, and they all have friends; they are all normal while I am not. Can I fast, pray, or do anything, like literally anything, to experience endless happiness and love? Please tell me how I can feel happy without drugs, friends, a boyfriend, and goods. Is there a way, or should I do all these things in order to feel high and happy for a few hours?
Note: I love God and think He is so sweet, but I am lost in fitnah (temptation, tribulation).
Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah.
The need to feel good is present in each and every one of us. Allah, the Most Merciful, created us with desires, but at the same time he made us different from animals by giving us intellect and intelligence. If you were given a choice to enter a house for an hour and have all the things that you desire in this world, without limits, in it, but after an hour you will have to go to the basement where they will cut you into small pieces, would you choose to do so? If your answer is that you would go and fulfil your desire, then there is no point in reading the rest of the answer because it means that you have lost the most precious thing in this life: your ability to reason.
I would expect that you are intelligent (ma sha’ Allah) enough to say that you would never choose to do the above (if it was ever feasible); therefore, be consistent and never fall into contradictions. This life, Allah created it and filled it with things that fit our desires, and He gave us intellects and ordered us to worship Him alone. For any desire in this world, there is a halal alternative, it might require patience to achieve it, but it definitely feels much better in this life, and more importantly, has no bad consequences in this life or the Hereafter. Our life is temporary, and we were created for a reason. What makes us humans and not animals is that we can choose the best of two good things and stay away from the worst of two evils.
Every human being looks for happiness, joy, and delight, but to achieve that, we need six important things:
1- Knowledge of what is beneficial and good:
We are limited, and that is why we need Allah, the Most high, to inform us of what is good and beneficial for us, so refer to the Quran and Sunnah to know what is good.
2- The path to take to attain that good:
The only path is the path of revelation; the Quran and the Sunnah. It is a path that all Prophets and righteous people took, and they reached their final destination in peace. This path requires patience and dedication with certainty.
3- To actually take that path of goodness:
Knowledge is important, but it is only half the way to delight and happiness; unless you put the knowledge into actions, there is no benefit in it. Efforts, courage, struggle, and patience need to be in place to actually take the path to Paradise and goodness.
4- Knowledge of what is harmful and bad:
On the other hand, you have to know what is harmful; otherwise, happiness will not be attained. If you do all kinds of good things, one small harm can ruin all of it. Therefore, we need to know what is evil and bad. Again, humans are limited, we need knowledge of what is harmful, and it was given to us by Allah in the Quran and Sunnah.
5- The paths of evil and what is bad:
Evil and what is bad have so many different paths; the only way to know that is by learning what Allah wants from us in the Quran and the Sunnah.
6- To actually avoid the paths of evil:
Desires, temptations, peer pressure, and most importantly Shaytan (the devil) will try to take you to the path of evil and destruction. Shaytan will adorn and beautify the evil in your eyes, and unless you have the knowledge, patience, dedication, fear of Allah, hope for His rewards, and love of Allah, you will not be able to succeed.
Turn to Allah alone and ask Him for guidance and help, stay in a good environment with people who remind you of Allah, and beware of befriending those who commit sins that take them away from Allah.
May Allah guide us all.