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“If I was living in Egypt, I'm sure 1 would be wearing Hijab."
"If only I wasn’t in classes all day long, I would surely make it to the Friday Prayer every Friday."
How many times have you told yourself: if it weren’t for this or that, I would be able to do such and such? How often is it that our actions depend upon our environment? If our surroundings were more conducive to performing prayer or fasting or wearing Hijab, we would do it. But alas, we live in such an environment where some things are just not possible, right?
Sure, our surroundings determine much of what we do and even how and when we do it. But in order for us to better ourselves, we cannot blame our environment, or lack thereof. Just because we don’t live in a society that surrounds us with Muslims 24/7 who are cloaked in Islamic garb and who use their IPods to listen to Quran instead of Rihanna, doesn’t mean we can use that as an excuse for our own behavior.
Each of us has at least one thing about ourselves that we would like to better, but for some reason we can’t manage to overcome that challenge. It could be anything. Some people want to lose weight, but they say that because they are in school and always short on time and cash, fast food is all that they can eat. So, it is really not their fault. Some people say that they want to learn Arabic, but they can’t go to Syria, or Egypt, or Saudi Arabia, so what is the point? Again, it is really not their fault. Others say that they want to get married, but they can’t find the right person. So, instead they have given up and just hang out with ‘friends’. There aren’t any eligible singles around, so it is really not their fault.
Actually, it is. It is our fault if there is something about our lives that we want to change and we don’t attempt to try. If I want to get a new job but I can’t seem to find something, I can’t just give up and say that there is nothing available. I can’t blame my situation when it might be me that has the shortcomings. Maybe I need to take a few classes to brush up on my skill set, maybe I need to go back to school to get a degree, and maybe I need to work on my interviewing skills. In fact, most of the time, we are responsible for our own situations. Perhaps because of my personality and character, I constantly find myself in a particular situation. Maybe because of my lack of interviewing skills, I find that I never get the job. Maybe I’m creating that scenario.
People sometimes say that `we create our own destiny.' Muslims believe it is Allah Almighty that determines destiny; however, we are responsible for our actions and once in a while, we are also responsible for the situations in which we find ourselves. Not every situation or predicament can be blamed entirely on fate; a lot of our circumstances we create ourselves. Then, we complain that it is this same circumstance that either makes us who we are or is the cause for our deficiency.
Sometimes, however, making improvements in ourselves isn’t enough. Sometimes, we can better someone else’s situation to help him or her better themselves. In this way, changing or creating a particular situation is a good thing. Think of it this way: Maybe you have a friend that has a bad habit of backbiting. You have noticed for some time now, but you have never had the nerve to tell her about her problem to her face. You just don’t know how to break it to her; how do you tell your friend that she has a character flaw?
If you are in a situation where you feel uncomfortable changing a person’s behavior, you can do the next best thing by changing the environment. A change of scenery, a change of topic could be all that is needed. Avoid discussions that you are sure will get your friend heated. Refrain from mentioning anyone’s name or any specifics about any other person. Change the mood of the situation and try to prevent opportunities for backbiting. In this case, changing scenery is not a cop-out, it is a way out. And it could mean the difference between you and your friend committing a sin or escaping from one.
So, the next time you find yourself doing something that you shouldn’t be doing, ask yourself how you can change your character to avoid the situation in the future and don’t harp on the gripe that the planets weren’t aligned and the environment made you do it.
