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Her husband wants her to gain more weight

Question

salam aleikum. i have one question.. me and my husband have been married for almost one and half years. we have one son now who is 4 months old. When he have married me i was more fit than i im today. i had then 54 kilo, now i have 58 kilo. the problem is that my husband wants me to become fat, he want me to have maybe 10 kilo more than i have now. i know i have to listen to my husband and make him happy, but i think that this thing is really too much. i was not fat when he have married me and i cant be 10 kilo more than i am now. i am normal weight now. i have hard to become fat, even if i would eat fat food and sweets all day i can be 10 kilo more than today.. what should i do.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

According to the Sharee’ah, a wife is obliged to obey her husband in what is permissible. In fact, the scholars  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them stated that she is obliged to obey him in matters pertaining to marriage and enjoyment provided that this is permissible and provided this does not cause any harm to the wife. You may refer to Fataawa 91208 and 91788 in this regard.

A husband asking his wife to gain more weight may pertain to the matter of enjoyment, in which case, she is obliged to obey him in this matter provided that this does not cause harm to her, otherwise she is not obliged to obey him in this case.

With regard to your statement “I cannot be 10 kilos more than I am now”, if you mean that this may not happen even if you take the proper means for that, then this is beyond your ability and Allaah Says (what means): {Allaah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity.}[Quran 2:286] Therefore, in this case, you are not sinful if you take the permissible means and what he wishes does not happen. But if you mean that gaining weight is a matter that is difficult to accept, then this is improper because it is contradictory to the obedience of the husband in what is permissible.

In our view, the matter is easy and it is a matter on which the spouses can have a mutual agreement and this does not need to cause tension or any kind of problems between them.

Allaah Knows best.

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