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Your marriage is valid even if it is not built on love

Question

I married to a girl of my parents choice to whom I did not wanted / liked to marry. I don't like her. In fact I hate her. I married only to keep my parents happy and due to their consistent pressure. She married to me on her parent's choice but she wanted it and is happy about it. It's been 5 years now since I married, have a kid, but I'm not happy with the marriage. By going through Fatwa No. 163990, I'm not clear if my marriage is Halal/Haram/Void? If it is Void/Haram what should I do (Divorce/Cancel marriage through court)? I don't like to do Sex with her. When she wants, I do it only because I think as a wife it is her right. I live abroad. I don't like to live with her that's why she & the kid live in my home town. I go to them normally after 6-7 months. During my visit if I refuse to do sex with her coz I don't like would it be Haram/Halal? If the marriage and doing sex with her is Haram, what about the kid?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

If the marriage is conducted fulfilling the conditions of the valid marriage; the most important of which are the Wali (i.e. the guardian of the woman) and two witnesses, then the marriage is valid. Its validity is not affected by concluding it under the moral pressure of the parents. You can refer to the conditions of marriage in Fatwa 83629.

If the marriage is valid, then it will bring about its effects such as the right of the wife over her husband to sexual intercourse. It is not permissible for you to refuse to have intercourse with her in a way that causes harm to her. Some scholars said that it is obligatory upon the husband to have intercourse with his wife according to her need and his ability, as stated by Shaykh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him. For more benefit, kindly refer to Fatwa 90306.

We ask Allaah The Almighty to bless this marriage and this child for you because of your intention to please your parents with this marriage. Anyway, you should know that houses are not built only on love, but there are many other great benefits of marriage. So, keep your wife and treat her kindly. If you fear to wrong her, then divorce her in good terms and that child is your child and he is attributed to you, and thus all effects of filiation apply to him such as providing for him, inheritance and the other relevant effects. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86796.

Finally, two matters should be noted:

Firstly, parents have no right to force their son to marry a woman whom he does not desire to marry. For more details, please refer to Fatwa 83088.

Secondly, it is prohibited for a man to stay away from his wife for more than six months except with her permission. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 85711.

Allaah Knows best.

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