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Gradual commitment of new Muslims

Question

A friend’s wife is a recent revert to Islam; she accepted Islam six months ago. She performs the obligatory acts of worship; however, she is still doing things that are forbidden in Islam. She may sit with an old male friend, for instance, when her husband is not present or talk to him on the phone. She justifies this by saying that he is like a brother to her. She may even go to swimming pools where men and women are mixed and this infuriates her husband. What should her husband do? Should he be patient and give her more time, despite her stubbornness, or should he divorce her, since they have no children?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

Accepting Islam does not necessarily mean that faith has completely entered one’s heart, for Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {The Bedouins say, "We have believed." Say, “You have not [yet] believed; but say [instead], 'We have submitted,' for faith has not yet entered your hearts. And if you obey Allaah and His Messenger, He will not deprive you from your deeds of anything. Indeed, Allaah is Forgiving and Merciful.} [Quran 49:14]

Some new Muslims suffer from a lack of sure faith. However, this can be solved with patience and persuasion with good and kind speech which helps to increase one’s faith and reassures one’s heart about Islam. Nevertheless, this may take some time.

It is preferable for your friend to be patient with his wife, as long as she is a chaste woman. He must work hard to make her understand the teachings of Islam better and to prevent her, in a kind manner, from doing what is forbidden by Islam. He may seek the help of righteous people who have the gift of persuasion.

However, if he discovers that she does not really believe in Islam or that she betrays him with this man or any other man, then it is not permissible for him to keep her as his wife.

Allaah Knows best.

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