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Was Raped at an Earlier Age and Is Very Depressed and Suicidal

Question

My 16 year old cousin was raped by our non-muslim neighbour when she was 13 years old. Before that incident she started praying for the first time. After she was raped she became very depressed and suicidal and is taking medication daily and seeing a doctor. Today she does not pray and has mental problems. When asked why she doesnt pray, she insist on saying, "Why did Allah allow that man to rape me, a child, when I started practising islam?" We feel it has made her doubt islam. Please help.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Firstly, if this girl has reached the point of contemplating suicide, then this means that she is in a bad psychological state that requires endeavoring one’s utmost to calm her down so that she can regain her senses. Moreover, in addition to phycological treatment and drugs (medicine), she must be referred to some psychiatrists so that they would give her some beneficial advice that would benefit her.

It should be made clear to her and she should be reminded that Allah does whatever He wills and He chooses; Allah decides and there is no adjuster of His decision. Allah Says (what means): {He is not questioned about what He does, but they will be questioned.} [Quran 21:23]

It is a clear mistake to link what happened to her to her commitment to religion; this has nothing to do with that at all. Rather, the reason may be that it is due to her or her family being negligent about what Allah has enjoined on them, such as avoiding a corrupt environment and mixing with corrupt people. It may also be a Predestination, Decree, a trial and a test.

In any case, thinking about something that happened in the past is useless, as this brings nothing to the person but sorrow and grief.

It is for this reason that the etiquette of the Shareeah advises a Muslim to say in such a situation: “Allah has decreed and whatever He wills He does”, in order to close the doors of Satan.

Furthermore, this matter that happened to her has passed since a long time and people may have forgotten about it, and this has a great benefit. As regards raising it again and continuing to be affected by it, then this renders one remembers it, and this has many disadvantages.

Therefore, she must struggle to forget what happened and look forward to the future.

Being steadfast on obedience will be the best thing that will help her become calm and have peace of mind, especially the Prayer, which is a light that illuminates the heart and revives the soul. Abandoning the Prayer means severing the connection with Allah, and this is a great unhappiness. Hence, she must repent and preserve the Prayer.

On the other hand, suicide is a disease not a cure, and it is a transition from misery to even a greater misery. Therefore, a sane person does not think about it, let alone to really take the initiative to committing it. We ask Allah to save us and her from every trial and affliction.

For more benefit on the ruling on abandoning the prayer or delaying it, please refer to Fatawa 384457, 377344, 88016, 84178, 83565, 87587, 90926, 88690 and 84403.

For more benefit on the prohibition of committing suicide, please refer to Fatawa 84296, 96097, 22853, 377509, 34194 and 223189.

Allah knows best.

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