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Question

If a woman's husband marries again then she will spend nights alone. In fact, if he marries 3 more times she spends most of her life alone while he gives his time to other women. His needs are satisfied every night, but the woman has no husband at home to satisfy her needs. Where is the justice in this, and how can a woman tolerate such a thing? Do we have the right to say no to polygamy when it could drive us to sin as our needs as women are not satisfied in such marriages?

Answer

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

Allah, The Most-High, has decreed for a husband the right to marry more than one wife. Believing in the Lordship of Allah requires us to believe in all His decrees. Anything that Allah decrees comes from knowledge and wisdom. This knowledge and wisdom could be known to some people and could be ignored by them.

Among the wisdom of polygyny is:

First, there is a great number of women. If every man marries only one wife, then many women would remain without a husband; they would be deprived of children and they would not find a way to satisfy their sexual desires. So the interest of women in general was put first, i.e. in priority, rather than the interest of an individual woman.

Secondly, a wife passes through some stages during which her husband is prevented from satisfying his desires. For example, when the wife is in her monthly menstruation or after giving birth. The husband during this period cannot approach (have sexual relation) his wife for a month or more than a month as is the case when a woman gives birth. So if a husband is patient for this long period, the wife can be patient if the husband would be absent from her for a period of 2 or 3 nights.

Thirdly, human reproduction and having more children is among the objectives of the Shariah in marriage. That’s why polygyny is permitted. There are other wisdoms that we do not know as it is only Allah who Knows everything. Dear sister, you have to obey your Lord, and obey your husband as he is your gate to Paradise, so do not close this gate in front of you.

And you have to know, dear sister, that if we do not know a wisdom in the Shariah, this does not mean that we have the right to reject it. We have to apply the Shariah of Allah and submit ourselves to Him.

Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {But no, by your Lord, they can have no Faith, until they make you (O Muhammad SAW) judge in all disputes between them, and find in themselves no resistance against your decisions, and accept (them) with full submission.}[4:65].

Allah knows best.

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