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Does not want her father to marry her off to his choice

Question

I am a practising religious woman and I wear the correct religious Hijaab. I have three children and was divorced since seven years. I am suffering from being a widow and want to get married to a religious man. However, my family wants to marry me to a Pakistani man even if he does not pray. My father does not have a correct belief and he is a Bralwi (Shiite). What shall I do? Can I marry myself, meaning appoint a judge to be the guardian for me? If I do so, will I be considered as disobedient to Allaah since I am not obeying my parents in this regard?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

The jurists may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them agreed that a previously married (divorced or widowed) woman cannot be married without her consent. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "We cannot marry off a divorced or widowed woman, or a virgin woman except with their consent." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] Ibn Rushd may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said: "As regards women whose consent should be sought in marriage, the jurists may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them agreed that the consent of a deflowered woman who reached the age of puberty should be sought; as the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "A deflowered woman should express her opinion."

Therefore, you should know that your parents cannot marry you off to a person whom you are not sincerely pleased with, especially if you disagree to get married to the person who proposed to you because of his religion, like being a person who does not have a correct belief or does not perform prayer.

So, we advise you to take it easy with your father and convince him about your refusal to marry this man, and remind him that he is obliged to choose for you a husband whose religion and moral character are pleasing. If he still insists to marry you off to this man, or with people like him, and refuse the qualified religious people who have a good moral standard, then you can take the matter to the judge to marry you off to whomever you think is appropriate.

Allaah knows best.

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