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Has troubles being married to non-Muslim woman

Question

I married a non-Muslim woman 4 years ago in a mosque with the presence of 2 witnesses and the Imaam proposed to be her (Wali) I've tried to talk to her about Islam in this time but every time she says yes yes it true what saying oh it is the right religion, but that was no step to tray to become actually a Muslim. Plus when I went to her country I fond out that she has been with many men before which I did not know that they were that much and that they were Muslims as well but even with all that I said maybe one day she will understand. but lately I found out that she went back to smoking (cigarettes) because she stopped when she meet me and when I made her understand that it was not a way to behave if she want it to stay with me so she stopped that time.
When I found out about this smoking plus lately she started asking me about that she want kids coming that we live in a country that gives kids to the woman if there divorce I decided that I will divorce her and I get married to a Muslim woman as soon as I can.
I was 20 years old when I married this woman I did not know that time that it would be that hard (kids culture) I did not even know that the woman from the people from the book had to be virgin.
in conclusion I'm at home all the time for know I'm really sick there fights all the time I'm tell myself as soon as get better I have to take a decision, so please I'm I taking the right decision or not my parents are getting old back home and my sisters will get married and leave to there husbands. And this woman does not and cannot live in where I come from. Help your brother in Islam by your Fatwa as soon as you can.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

The presence (and consent) of the guardian is a condition for the validity of the marriage contract whether the woman is a Muslim or from the People of the Book, as the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "A woman cannot get married except with the permission of her guardian." [Abu Daawood]

Therefore, if this woman is from the People of the Book, then her guardian should be one of her relatives, who is of her religion, because a Muslim cannot be a guardian for her. However, if she has no guardian from the same religion like her, then the Muslim judge, or someone who could act on his behalf, would act as her guardian. So if the Imaam acted as her guardian despite the existence of her non-Muslim guardian, then this marriage is void according to the most predominant opinion of the scholars. In which case, she is not considered as your wife and it is forbidden for you to have sexual intercourse with her. However, we hope that you are not sinful -Allaah willing -for the sexual relations you had with her since you believed that this marriage was valid. However, you are obliged to invalidate this marriage contract by divorcing her in order to be on the safe side, since some scholars consider marriage without the presence or approval of the guardian as correct.

Nonetheless, if the Imaam acted as her guardian because she had no non-Muslim guardian, then the marriage is correct, since the Imaam acts on behalf of the Muslim judge in that country.

Besides, if this woman is (as you mentioned) insisting on her disbelief and you fear to have children with her, if Allaah blesses you with any children, and fear other religious disadvantages, then we believe it is best to divorce her before it is too late.

Finally, it should be mentioned that a Muslim man should marry a pious Muslim woman who would help him in his religious matters and in bringing up his children on a correct creed and good morals.

Allaah Knows best.

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