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Delaying wedding banquet for financial reasons

Question

I am unemployed and do not have money for a wedding now, but both my parents and those of my wife are in support of our relationship. She has given me a child and we are living together, but we are still not financially able to go through a wedding for now. Is what we are doing accepted in Islam, and can she prepare food for me during Ramadan?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

The question is somewhat ambiguous. If you had married this woman with a valid marriage contract and the due conditions for its validity were met, the most important of which are the presence of the bride's Wali (guardian) and witnesses, then the marriage is valid. Please refer to fatwa 83629 about the conditions for the validity of the marriage contract in Islam. In this case, this woman has become your lawful wife, and the child that she has given birth to is attributed to you.

The fact that the marriage has not been publicly announced or that no wedding banquet has been thrown yet does not affect the validity of the marriage contract in the slightest. It is recommended to announce the marriage publicly according to the majority of scholars, and throwing a wedding banquet is not obligatory as well according to the preponderant scholarly view.

The Kuwaiti Encyclopedia of Fiqh says, about the means of announcing the marriage:

"The majority of the scholars held that it is recommended to announce the marriage by any socially acceptable means such as throwing a wedding banquet, inviting a number of people to attend the session of conducting the marriage contract other than the two witnesses, or celebrating it by playing the Duff (a tambourine-like instrument without bells) so as to announce the marriage. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, 'Make the marriage known (to people).' Another version of the hadeeth reads, 'Announce the marriage.'"

If a number of people attended the session of conducting the marriage contract, then the marriage has been properly announced even if you did not throw a wedding banquet. You can throw the wedding banquet at any other time whenever it is convenient for you. Ibn Hajar Al-Haytami  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him wrote, "It is better to throw the wedding banquet after the consummation of marriage so as to follow the Sunnah; it is not waived by divorce, death, or passage of time according to the most likely correct view, just like the ʻAqeeqah (celebration and sacrifice offered on behalf of the newborn after birth)..." [Tuhfat Al-Muhtaaj]

There is no harm if your wife prepares food for you or offers the like of services in Ramadan or in any other month.

Allaah knows best.

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