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Muslim male, former female, wants wife

Question

Bismillah arrahman arrahim, assalam alaykom wa rahmatollah, i sent you a question for a fatwa and i am sending you now a detailed letter about my story. please help me. I am a muslim man who lives in canada. I need your help to give me a fatwa in marriage and i need your knowledge of the islamic laws to help me. I am an engineer, an honest man, who follows the laws of the coran and never disobeyed God and never did something haram. I am 39 years old, i have lived in canada for more than 18 years and i never been married. Recently, I met a muslim lady who is wonderful and i love her and she loves me, but her family is not welcoming me because i have a special biological situation which may raise some questions about the halal and haram of this marriage. I will tell you my story and i beg you to help me to solve this problem. I was born with appearant female genital organs and that is why when I was born they registered me as a female. When i hit puberty, biological changes started to appear in my genital organs and i started developing male genital organs too and at the same time the female genital organs started to deform. I menstruated for a short period of time at early puberty and then it stopped. my physical appearance was never as a girl or a woman. i never wore female clothes in my life and my psychology was never of a female since i was 3 years old, as far as i can remember. i always acted as a boy and a man and i always saw myself as a man and not a woman. these genital deformities caused lots of physical pains and emotional pains. When i came to canada, i consulted the doctors and they explained to me that i have a very rare medical situation related to disfunction of hormones and genetic codes when i was still a foetus in my mother's womb. they advised me to have surgeries to solve the problem. i did all the needed surgeries to remove all the female parts in my body and i did surgeries to enhance the shape and looks of my under developed male genital organs. I am a complete man and i corrected all my identification papers from a female to a male. The canadian government granted me this papers correction after reviewing the medical reports and after completing all the required surgeries. According to the medical board and the law, i am a man and I live as a man in all aspects of this word. I was sterile as a female and i am still sterile as a man and I can't have children. But, i am completely able to consume my marriage as any other man. my genital organs are complete and i can have erections, and i can please sexually my wife and fulfill my duties as a husband. I am not homosexual and i never been with a man in a relationship. I always loved women but i never had any sexual contact with women before the surgeries. I want to marry the lady i love, but her family is not happy with this matter because they are afraid of the halal or haram of this marriage. My family has accepted my marriage to the lady i love because they know i am a complete man now, regardless of my past. I come from a very good and respectful muslim family and i was raised according to the islamic values. I never did something wrong in my life and never hurt anyone. all what i want is to live the remaining of my life in happiness and forget all the pain and agony i went through for many years. My physical appearance is completely like any other man, my genitals organs are complete and normal as any other man, my body is covered with hair as any normal man and i have a beard. Anyone who sees me will know that i am a man without any doubt in his mind. I act like any other man and i am very respected at work and society in general. My in-laws welcomed me in their family when they met me, they had no doubt that i am a man, but the minute they knew about my past, everything has changed. i know they like me a lot and they want me in their family but they are afraid in case this marriage is haram according to islam. God almighty tried me as he tried the prophet Ayyoub and i endured lots of pain and agony and i am convinced that he helped me during all what i have been through and showed me the proper way to solve my problem and to live happy. I am sure God accepted me as a man, so why people would not accept me as a man? It was not my fault that i was born like this. No one can imagine the pain i had, but if anyone thinks of himself in my place for five minutes only and try to imagine what he will do if he was me, maybe then this person will see the truth and see God's will. If I die now, who is allowed to wash my body before burying me? men or women? i know according to the islamic law, men can not wash a woman before burying her and women can not wash a man before burying him. so what is my verdict? according to my body and my papers i am a complete man and if i die here in canada, the sheikh will give me a proper burial as any other man. Therefore, i believe that my marriage to this lady is not a sin and i know that God will accept it. I love her so dearly and i want to spend the rest of my life in happiness with her and her son who i consider as my own and love him and care for him as any good father will do. I beg you to give me a fatwa in this matter and i am willing to send you all the documents (medical reports, identification papers, photos) to prove to you that i am a normal man. This is my story and it is the truth and God is my witness. I hope you will send me your reply as soon as possible and i beg you to be open minded about this matter and to help a brother in need by your knowledge and wisdom and i thank you in advance for your fatwa.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Allaah tests His believing Servants with different kinds of afflictions He Wants. However, these afflictions increase the believer's belief in Allaah. Allaah Says (what means): {And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient.} [Quran 2:155].

A person has no choice in determining his sex; it is Allaah who creates one person as a male and another as a female. However, Allaah may combine the male and female genital organs in one person, and one of them will be dominant, then the ruling will apply to the dominating organ. Allaah Says (what means): {To Allaah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what He wills.} [Quran 42:49]. Allaah also Says (what means): {…and knows what is in the wombs.} [Quran 31:34].

Since you mentioned that the male characteristics are the predominant in you, then it is the rule of a man which applies to you. Therefore, you are permitted to marry a woman and are entitled for a share of a male in the inheritance, and it is either men or your wife who should wash your body when you die.

Being sterile is not an impediment for marriage and it is permissible for you to marry this girl. We advise the family of this girl to help their Muslim brother, to make a way out to his difficulty, facilitate his affairs, help him in preserving his chastity, and supplicate to Allaah to grant him with pious children as Allaah is capable of doing everything.

Finally, we ask Allaah to bestow His Favours upon you, bless you and your good manners and enable you to do what pleases Him.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 90576and 91464.

Allaah Knows best.

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