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Wants to Die because He Can't Be Accepted As A Homosexual In Islam

Question

I feel like that i want to die now. I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to kill myself or commit suicide. Is it permissible to supplicate Allah for death? I don't feel I want to live anymore because of some problem I have inside me (not sickness of course). The reason I don't want to live is because: I don't know who to fulfill my desires. I have no affection for women (neither do I want to touch them). But I have a lot of affection for men and their body. But I can't have sex with men because Allah has made it Haram (and I know the Daleel and the punishment from the Qur'an and Sunnah for homosexual). So, How do I fulfill my desires? Please, answer me as soon as possible.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Dear inquirer!

We advise you to stop such thinking: 'I want to die now…supplicating for death'. In this concern, the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "None of you should wish for death on account of an affliction that befalls him. If there is no alternative, let him pray: O Allah! Give me life so long as life is good for me, and take away my life as long as death is good for me." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Our advice to you is the Prophetic advice to young men when feeling a strong lust: "O young people! Whoever can marry should marry, as it helps one to lower their gaze, and guards the private parts, and whoever is not able to marry should fast, as this helps one protect his private parts (from committing illegal sexual intercourse)." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

For sure, controlling and suppressing sexual lust is achieved only as stated above by the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ): Marriage or fasting often. Allah willing, if you get married and exercise mixing with women, you will get better and may lose lust for men or at least it will become weak.

We also advise you to avoid befriending males who are younger than you and to have good relations with the righteous who are older than you. Then, you have to avoid songs and pictures that arouse lust. In addition, be careful of committing misdeeds, or thinking of evil or ever having determination to do some misdeeds, since whoever thinks of doing some misdeed and is determined to do it, is considered sinful. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "If two Muslims confront each other with swords and one of them kills the other, then the killer and the slain will both be in Hellfire." A man said: "O Messenger of Allah, (we understand about) the killer, but what about the one who is killed?" He said: "He wanted to kill his companion." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

As you mentioned, you know the punishment stated for homosexuality in the Quran and Sunnah. Such punishment is, in fact, dishonor in the present life and Hellfire in the Hereafter.

Allah Says (what means): {And they who guard their private parts. Except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed - But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors -} [Quran 23: 5-7]

Also, for more benefit about homosexuality, please refer to Fataawa 82048, 89290 and 92704.

Allah knows best.

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